Resilience is not a trait that people either have or do not have. It involves behaviors, thoughts and actions that can be learned and developed in anyone. But, it always helps to have a counselor, or a religious leader, close for guidance and advice.
Chaplain (Maj.) Matthew Gibson is U.S. Army Dugway Proving Ground's new spiritual leader. He knows from personal experience that building resilience is the key to strengthening one's ability adapt in the face of adversity, trauma, tragedy, or difficult experiences.
Gibson was born and raised in Omaha, Neb. the baby of a large, family--seven brothers and four sisters. "As a small boy my family, and people I hardly knew, would tell me: 'You're going to be a preacher when you grow up.'"
He said he loved the bonds that tied a family together, but he also longed to be part of something larger.
"As I got older, I wanted to be in the military. I had uncles and cousins that served. Some of my friends also chose to join, and I knew that's what I wanted to do too."
He deployed to Iraq with the 3rd Brigade 2nd Infantry Division during a turbulent period. While serving there, Gibson's young wife, Debra, kept the home fires burning, caring for their two young sons, Matthew and Mark. It was during this period Gibson experienced his greatest challenge.
Debra was lifting a pot of boiling water from the stove, when somehow the pot tipped, spilling scalding water down her dress. The water severely blistered her skin. She was rushed to the hospital where she was placed in a burn unit, receiving intensive care for weeks.
"Everyone believed she would recover, but complications set in and she died suddenly," he said in hushed a tone as he looked out his office window. "I was notified of her death by email."
Unfortunately, due to the rising conflict in Iraq, Gibson's commander could not let him return home in time for her funeral.
When he returned home, the loss was profound and tough to bear. Standing beside her gravesite, he felt alone with two young sons to raise all by himself.
"It was an enormously challenging time," he acknowledged.
He began to consider his life experiences and how to best strengthen himself for the hard days ahead. He said he needed to refocus, pick up the pieces of a broken life for himself and his boys.
"This brought a deep period of reflection," he said.
His thoughts took him back to the traits of faith and fortitude he had been taught in childhood by his faithful mother and father. They became the scaffolding to rebuild his life.
Gibson said he felt strongly drawn to counseling and mitigating conflict. He began to move in that direction. He found solace in serving others and eventually became a youth pastor, which brought him to a place of reconciliation.
Along the way, he met an "extraordinary woman" and fell in love again. He married Brenda. Together, they blended their four children into a new family, bringing much joy into Gibson's life.
At Fort Leavenworth he was commissioned as an Army Chaplain. He served there at the Combined Arms Center as the Installation Family Life Chaplain, counseling Soldiers, Family Members and other Department of Defense employees as individuals, couples or families.
Over the years Gibson has continued to fortify himself and strengthen his skills as a counselor. He attended Andrews University in Berrien Springs, Mich., where he received his Masters of Divinity. A few years later, he attended Columbus State University in Columbus, Ga., gaining a Master of Science in Community Counseling Marriage and Family Therapy, and attended Erskine College and Seminary at Due West in S.C. receiving a Doctor of Ministry with a concentration in Servant Leadership. He recently was awarded a Post Masters Certificate in Therapy with Military Families, from North Central University in Prescott, Ariz.
"I believe in being a lifelong learner," he said.
Serving at Dugway is definitely a new experience for Gibson. But, he said he's excited to be here. His family hopes to visit him during his assignment here. However, prior work and school commitments, unfortunately, will keep them from joining him here full time.
Gibson said that everyone will likely experience some kind of tragedy or hardship in their lives. "Each could be vulnerable. Difficulties are all but unescapable."
But no one should feel they face it alone. Here is a chaplain, a seasoned counselor, who can listen, advise and provide direction. One who knows the difficulties and challenges life can bring and has traveled the path to a more resilient life.
"You can't change the fact that bad things will happen, but you can change how you interpret and respond to those events," he said.
U.S. Army Dugway Proving Ground is part of the Army Army Test & Evaluation Command.
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