FORT BRAGG, N.C. - Imagine having your pre-school aged child taken from you and having no means to contact him or her for the rest of your life.
That was the case of a Fort Bragg Soldier who has searched extensively for a daughter he lost more than 15 years ago. On Oct. 14, he was able to give her a hug.
For Spc. Grant Bolen, 15 years of agony ended as his daughter, Brittney Ann emerged from the steps of the escalator at Fayetteville Regional Airport/Grannis Field. "Hi, Pumpkin," Bolen said before the two engaged in a long embrace, lots of smiles and an occasional tear or two during the joyous event.
Bolen and his only child, Britney Ann became separated in 1995 when Britney's mother and Bolen divorced when Britney was 4 years old. According to Bolen, his ex-wife soon re-married and legally changed their daughter's name from Britney Ann Bolen to Erica Britney Danielle Strain. By doing this, the woman eliminated any hope that Bolen had of contacting his daughter.
"Her mom left in 1993-94 timeframe and shortly there afterward, remarried and changed her name legally through the court systems," explained Bolen, an Indianapolis native assigned to the 126th Transportation Company "This made it even harder for me to try and locate them. I had lost contact with them."
Bolen said that despite all of his Internet searches, people searches and various entities, he always came up empty-handed, primarily because he searched for them by their birth names.
He said over the course of time, he wrote letters to several talk shows, including, Montell Williams, Regis and Kelly and once he arrived at basic training, he even wrote to the Fox News station in Dallas.
"That was the last place that I had known them to live," he said. "I was hoping that maybe they would do a story on it or help locate her and bring her to my graduation."
After years of trying, he said it wasn't until his father received a phone call on July 4, this year that he was able to make progress.
Britney Ann and her boyfriend, Tommy Raboin conducted an Internet search and came up with her grandfather's name and saw that he lived in the Houston area. Even though Britney, who lives in Corpus Christi, didn't have enough nerve to place the call, she said Tommy made it for her.
"I had been talking to my boyfriend about meeting my dad and he said, 'I'm going to find him for you.' I was like, 'whatever,' but sure enough he called my grandfather and said, 'hey, I have your son's daughter over here, do you have his number''"
She said her grandfather then placed the connecting phone call to Bolen, who according to Britney Ann, "freaked out." On July 4, they were able to talk for the first time.
"My dad called me and said he was trying to make contact with me and that he had gotten a phone call late the night before from her boyfriend," Bolen said.
"I felt scared, happy, joyful, there was a lot of emotions that I went through," Bolen said. "When he told me that, I sunk to the floor, my eyes welled up with tears. My dad gave me a number to contact my daughter's boyfriend to see if we could set up a time to talk on the phone," Bolen explained.
"She was with Family that day, celebrating the 4th of July, but she wanted to call me later that night when she was done celebrating with Family so that she could be alone and uninterrupted on the phone call," he said.
"It was joyful yet fearful," Bolen said. "It was that fear of, would she reject me' Then I thought, no she wouldn't she's the one who's reaching out to me."
He said he didn't quite understand why she wanted to wait until later in the evening when she was alone. He said he later found out that it was because her mother still did not want her to make contact with him at the time.
"(Britney) eventually felt that 'I'm old enough now to make this decision for myself and I'm going to go ahead and make contact,'" explained Bolen, a transportation specialist in the unit's headquarters platoon. "Since then, it's been absolutely wonderful. Now I can hardly keep up with an 18 year-old and her text messages, but I do my best and we communicate on the computer as much as we can."
When the phone rang on the night of the fourth, the anxiety returned.
"She called at the exact time we agreed upon, and the only thing that was going through my mind when I heard her voice on the other end was, 'Hi, pumpkin. I miss you, I love you. That was the only thing I could get out at the time, I was pretty choked up," he said.
Bolen said the first few minutes of the conversation were filled with several moments of awkward silence, before they both broke the ice and started talking.
"It was amazing," said Britney, who is a freshman at Texas A&M affiliate, Delmar College in Corpus Christi. "I can't even describe it with words. We were laughing together, crying together.
July 4 was a pretty spectacular night. I just remember being under the fireworks at the beach and talking to my dad non-stop for hours. It was pretty amazing," she said.
"I could hear that she was crying as well and that she was nervous, I could hear it in her voice," Bolen explained. "We talked for a little over four and a half hours and she asked me a lot of questions and I asked her a lot of questions," he said.
He said after the separation, he could only rely on memories and a few pictures that he's carried in his wallet or placed on his desk at work or home.
"I would always search for her on the Internet, but I just never found her," said Bolen, who joined the Army two years ago at age 41.
He said his decision to join the Army was sudden, but necessary: "I woke up one day and said 'I think I'll join the Army today. Before I knew it, I was in basic training and my body was trying to keep up with all the younger kids and I had it in my heart that I was going to make it through this.
"I look at myself now as to where I was two years ago and I'm ten times the Soldier I was then. And, I've been down range and back."
Bolen said he now feels like his life is more complete because he and his daughter are now reunited. He said the entire process has been a learning experience that he doesn't mind sharing with younger Soldiers.
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